The Forbes Five: Trip #1

An update to our blog is way overdue. I’ve struggled a bit over the last week with several things—jet lag being one of them, as well as where to start in telling you all about our trip to meet our two children. Fair warning—this is a long one.

Adoption is a tough road in many ways. One of the things that is difficult, and I think most adoptive families would agree, is the waiting. There is waiting at every turn. And just when the paperwork and the fundraising seem to be taking over your life and things are seeming just a bit too hectic, you exchange that for a little bit more of…you guessed it…waiting. Honestly, I think I prefer the crazy seasons of paperwork over the waiting because at least in those seasons I feel like I’m doing something to help bring us closer to getting our babies home.

The waiting was long over the summer season, thus the reason that we did few blog posts. Honestly, there wasn’t much to report! Aubrey and Micah’s home country was having some political issues that kept adopting families from being able to move forward in the process. Basically, we lost a little more than two months just waiting for certain people to be given authority there to hold a meeting that we needed to take place, in which we would receive verbal approval to travel. Later, would come the written approval and then finally travel dates would be given.

After so much time, when our travel dates did come, it produced a flurry of activity. The email said that we could choose to travel on August 31 or wait until mid-October. Well, that made it a no-brainer for sure, but that meant that we had one week to get our plane tickets purchased, get plans made for our children who would need care here, organize care for our animals, buy what we still needed for our trip, get the house in order (I hate coming home to a messy house after a trip), and pack everyone up. We made two to-do lists—one for Cliff and one for me—and started tackling things one by one. By the end of the week things were looking good and we were already exhausted before the trip had even begun!

Mountains of Germany

Unfortunately, because we had such short notice, we had few choices concerning flights. We had a terribly long layover in Toronto both coming and going—8 ½ and 6 ½ hours. That doesn’t include the drive time to Pittsburgh, the 8 plus hour flight over the ocean, the two shorter flights, and the two
shorter layovers. All in all, the travel is a real killer, especially for someone who doesn’t really relish being off the ground! The whole time I kept thinking, “If I can’t handle this with just Cliff, how are we going to do this with two little ones who have hardly stepped foot out of the orphanage!” But, I know that God will see us through that as well. I want to thank all of you who prayed me on our trip since I ended up with horrible stomach cramps that ended up being all stress related, since I was fine once we were on solid ground. The adrenaline of being so close to meeting our children kept us from really feeling the jet lag at first, too. We were met by our translator/driver, Yavor, at the airport and taken to our hotel. We knew that early the next morning, we would meet our children.

View from the hotel

Monday morning, we woke early, jittery with nerves and headed out for the nearly two hour drive to the orphanage. This was the moment we had been waiting for for the last six months. We met with the director and the social worker of the orphanage and then we were taken upstairs to a room to wait for them to bring Aubrey and Micah to us. I was so full of emotion. They brought Micah in first and he willingly came to me. What a joy to hold him and feel his tiny arms around my neck. Aubrey is walking so she came in holding the hand of another worker and Cliff went over to greet her. After a few minutes we switched children and I had a chance to hold Aubrey as well. Our first few moments with them were so surreal. It was what we had been anticipating for so long. Each day we would visit with them for about 1 ½ hours in the morning and then again in the afternoon after their naps. We were always in the same room, except for Wednesday morning when we were able to take them in strollers to get their visa pictures taken. We brought toys with us to keep them occupied and spent time just holding them and getting to know them. We got to feed them lunch a few times as well.

Outside the orphanage

Both of them are so very sweet. It was hard to tell from the short videos we had of them exactly how they would be in person. We had them pegged all wrong! We thought Micah would probably be the laid-back one, and Aubrey the feisty one, but we found that it was exactly the opposite. Aubrey would wander around the room, doing her own thing. She would come to us, Yavor, or the orphanage worker, for attention from time-to-time and, as the week went on, she would put her hands up to be held more often. Micah was a total cuddle bug and liked nothing better than having his face buried in our shoulder with his hands around our necks. He craves physical attention and closeness. We now know the answers to many of the basic questions that we wondered about for when they got home, things like: toddler bed vs. crib, highchair vs. regular chair at the table, types of toys they would like, etc. Being able to prepare for them to come home is the only plus we can think of in having to leave them and come back again later.

Dinner one night at another fabulous restaurant

Although the waiting seemed unbearable at times as we waited for our chance to finally meet Aubrey and Micah, we recognized that it would probably be much harder once we got home from our trip and had to wait to go back to get them. So, the question that we get the most right now is, “How long until you get to go back?” That is the same question that is also weighing on our hearts. On Wednesday, knowing that we only had one more morning visit with our children, we kept saying to each other that we didn’t want to face the next day. We knew it was going to be so emotional and difficult. We tried the best we could to enjoy our last few hours with them, but dreading the minutes as they ticked away. Finally the time came to say goodbye. We were so thankful for the time to get to know them, understand their needs and personalities a bit better, sing to them, play with them, snuggle them, and whisper in their ears that we love them and so does their Heavenly Father who was the one to lead us to them in the first place.

We tearfully handed Micah over to the orphanage worker first. He went out the door as he had in past days, joyfully accepting of his naptime which was to come. Aubrey was a bit different. I was holding her and all of a sudden she reached out for Cliff, laying her head on his shoulder. She stayed that way for a few seconds and then reached back for me. It was at this point that our interpreter said, “She knows that something is different this time.” And truly I believe she did. When she again tried to reach back for Cliff I just moved next to him so that we could both hold her. Of course, by this time the tears were flowing for both of us. We stayed this way until we had to hand her over as well. What heavy hearts we had as we walked past the door to their room, glimpsing Aubrey holding on to the bars of her crib, and on down the hall, and down the stairs for the last time.

We left a part of our hearts in the orphanage that day. I know that Aubrey and Micah do not really understand that we are their mom and dad, or about all the many changes that are about to happen to them. But I do hope that they could sense our deep commitment to them and our love for them. That, I believe, can be communicated without words and I hope it came across as loud and clear as we feel it.

When we first started this journey, we believed that the time between trips would be about 2-4 months. Recently, it has taken most families closer to 5-6 months. We should be traveling in January or February to bring them home forever. It will be another week-long trip. We are praying that, if God sees fit, he might allow the process to go even quicker. In our hearts we would so love to have them home before Christmas, but we are trying hard to trust God’s timing even as we agonize over the wait.

Please join us in prayer for Aubrey and Micah…for their safety, for their hearts to be prepared ahead of time to be able to easily accept and thrive in the love we have to offer. Please pray that Olivia, Sawyer, Collin, and Makena will be ready for the changes that will occur through the addition of a brother and a sister. Right now they are so very excited, but we also know that the adjustment period for them can be almost as difficult as the adjustment period for Aubrey and Micah. And please pray for our hearts as well. We are asking God to keep us focused on what he has for us to accomplish each day that comes as we wait expectantly for the day when we can bust them out of that orphanage and make them a part of our family!

Again, we cannot say enough how very thankful we are to all those who have reached out and supported our family in so many ways throughout our adoption journey. We can’t wait for you to meet them!

Since we were not allowed to take pictures of Aubrey and Micah during our time there (sorry everyone), here are a few more pictures of our trip.